a man accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers   
        Lumberyard Accident

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the
buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He
goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see
what I can do."

Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the
fingers? It's almost the year 2000!. We've got microsurgery and
all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back
on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"

Jon says, "Hell Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."


 
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