Corrolary's to Murphy's Law   
        Corrolary's to Murphy's  Law

 Cooke's Law 
  In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available
  is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision. 
 
  Law of the Perversity of Nature 
    You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to
    butter. 
 
  Ross's Law 
    Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards
   from the floor--especially in the dark. 
 
  Simmons's Law 
    The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the
    distance from the actual event. 
 
  Acheson's Rule of the Bureaucracy 
    A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the
    writer. 
 
  Avery's Rule of Three 
    Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house
    the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job--it's the
    start of a brand new series of three. 
 
  Calkin's Law of Menu Language 
    The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of
    a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish. 
   
  Canada Bill Jones's Motto 
    It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. 
    Canada Bill Jones's Supplement 
       A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. 
 
 Harvard's Law 
     Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,
     temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do
     as it damn well pleases. 
 
 Fett's Law 
    Never replicate a successful experiment. 
 
 Werner von Braun 
   Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. 
 
 Stewart's Law of Retroaction 
    It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 
 
 Phil White 
    It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. 
 
 Roger H. Lincoln 
 There are two rules for success... 
   1) Never tell everything you know. 
 
 Merkin's Maxim         
    When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue. 
 
 Anthony's Law of Force: 
    Don't force it; get a larger hammer. 
 
 Anthony's Law of the Workshop: 
    Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of
    the workshop. 
 
 Arnold's Laws of Documentation: 
    (1) If it should exist, it doesn't. 
    (2) If it does exist, it's out of date. 
    (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two
       laws. 
   
 Arthur's Laws of Love: 
   (1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of
     someone else. 
  (2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed
     in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person. 
 
 Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry: 
   A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by
   governors. 
 
 Barach's Rule: 
    An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician. 
 
 Baruch's Observation: 
    If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. 
 
 Beifeld's Principle: 
   The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive
  young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in
  the company of: 
       (1) a date, 
       (2) his wife, 
       (3) a better looking and richer male friend. 
 
 Boling's postulate: 
    If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it. 
 
 Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: 
    Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly
    manifests their lack of progress. 
 
 Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: 
    Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 
 
 Boob's Law: 
    You always find something in the last place you look. 
 
 Boren's Laws: 
    (1) When in charge, ponder. 
    (2) When in trouble, delegate. 
    (3) When in doubt, mumble. 
 
 Bradley's Bromide: 
    If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
   committee--that will do them in. 
 
 Brady's First Law of Problem Solving: 
    When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily
   by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger have handled 
   this?" 
 
 Brewer's Observation: 
    No good deed goes unpunished. 
 
 Brook's Law: 
    Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. 
 
 Brooke's Law: 
   Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool
   discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it
   beyond recognition. 
 
 Bucy's Law: 
    Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. 
 
 Cahn's Axiom: 
    When all else fails, read the instructions. 
 
 Captain Penny's Law: 
    You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the
    people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom. 
 
 Chism's Law of Completion: 
    The amount of time required to complete a government project is
   precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it. 
 
 Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: 
    When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will. 
 
 Churchill's Commentary on Man: 
    Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he
    will pick himself up and continue on. 
 
 Colvard's Logical Premises: 
    All probabilities are 50%.  Either a thing will happen or it won't. 
 
 Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary: 
    This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted
    to. 
 
 Conway's Law: 
    In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's
    going on; this person must be fired. 
 
 Corollaries: 
    1.  Nobody whom you ask for help will see it. 
    2.  The first person who stops by, whose advice you really don't want
        to hear, will see it immediately. 
 
 Denniston's Law: 
    Virtue is its own punishment. 
 
 DeVries's Dilemma: 
    If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits
   the paper. 
 
 Drew's Law of Highway Biology: 
    The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of
    your eyes. 
 
 Ducharme's Axiom: 
    If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself
    as part of the problem. 
 
 Ducharme's Precept: 
    Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. 
 
 Emerson's Law of Contrariness: 
    Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.
    Having found them, we shall then hate them for it. 
 
 Fifth Law of Applied Terror: 
    If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. 
    Corollary:  If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where
                you live. 
 
 Fifth Law of Procrastination: 
    Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there
   is nothing important to do. 
 
 Finagle's Creed: 
    Science is true.  Don't be misled by facts. 
 
 Finagle's First Law: 
    If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. 
 
 Finagle's Second Law: 
    No matter what the anticipated result, there will always be someone
   eager to 
    (a) misinterpret it, 
    (b) fake it, or 
    (c) believe it happened according to his own pet theory. 
 
 Finagle's Third Law: 
    In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond
    all need of checking, is the mistake 
 
 Finagle's Fourth Law: 
    Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only  makes it
    worse. 
 
 Finster's Law: 
    A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
 
 First Law of Bicycling: 
    No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind. 
 
 First Law of Procrastination: 
   Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for
   its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed the
   deadline). 
 
 First Law of Socio-Genetics: 
    Celibacy is not hereditary. 
 
 First Rule of History: 
    History doesn't repeat itself--historians merely repeat each other. 
 
 Flon's Law: 
   There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the
   least bit difficult to write bad programs. 
 
 Flugg's Law: 
    When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is
    composed of vinyl, Naugahyde and aluminum. 
 
 Fourth Law of Applied Terror: 
    The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology
    instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. 
    Corollary: 
       Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except
       study for that instructor's course. 
 
 Fourth Law of Revision: 
    It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences--if
    you have none, someone will make one for you. 
 
 Fresco's Discovery: 
    If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored. 
 
 Fudd's First Law of Opposition: 
    Push something hard enough and it will fall over. 
 
 Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 
    1. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
    2. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. 
    3. The energy required to change either one of these states will
       always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to 
       make the  task totally impossible. 
 
 Ginsberg's Theorem: 
    1.  You can't win. 
    2.  You can't break even. 
    3.  You can't even quit the game.
 [Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem 
    Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is
 based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem.  To wit: 
    1.  Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 
    2.  Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 
    3.  Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

 
 Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: 
  Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable
  cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work
  done. 
 
 Glyme's Formula for Success: 
    The secret to success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you've
    got it made. 
 
 Gold's Law: 
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly 
 
 Goldenstern's Rules: 
    1.  Always hire a rich attorney 
    2.  Never buy from a rich salesman. 
 
 Gordian Maxim: 
    If a string has one end, it has another. 
 
 Grabel's Law: 
    2 is not equal to 3--not even for large values of 2. 
 
 Grandpa Charnock's Law: 
    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 
 
 Gray's Law of Programming: 
    "n+1" trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time
     as "n" tasks. 
 
 Green's Law of Debate: 
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. 
 
 Greener's Law: 
    Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel. 
 
 Grelb's Reminder: 
    Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average
 drivers. 
 
 H. L. Mencken's Law: 
    Those who can--do.  Those who can't--teach. 
    Martin's Extension: 
       Those who cannot teach--administrate. 
 
 Hacker's Law: 
    The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation
    to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions. 
 
 Hall's Laws of Politics: 
    (1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. 
    (2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed.
    (3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend
        military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own
        districts). 
 
 Hanlon's Razor: 
    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by
    stupidity. 
 
 Hanson's Treatment of Time: 
    There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days
  before Saturday. 
 
 Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: 
    Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment
    ruined. 
 
 Harrison's Postulate: 
    For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. 
 
 Hartley's First Law: 
    You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his
   back, you've got something. 
 
 Hartley's Second Law: 
    Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. 
 
 Heller's Law: 
    The first myth of management is that it exists. 
 
 Hlade's Law: 
    If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person--they will
   find an easier way to do it. 
 
 Hoare's Law of Large Problems: 
    Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. 
 
 Hofstadter's Law: 
    It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
    Hofstadter's Law into account. 
 
 Horngren's Observation: 
    Among economists, the real world is often a special case. 
 
 Howe's Law: 
    Everyone has a scheme that will not work. 
 
 Hurewitz's Memory Principle: 
    The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional
    to...to...uh.... 
 
 Jacquin's Postulate: 
    No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is
   in session. 
 
 Johnson's Corollary: 
    Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the
    organization. 
 
 Kramer's Law: 
    You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 
 
 Lieberman's Law: 
    Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, cuz nobody listens. 
 
 Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: 
    "n+1" trivial tasks take twice as long as "n" trivial tasks. 
 
 Lynch's Law: 
    When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. 
 
 Mason's First Law of Synergism: 
    The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut. 
 
 Meade's Maxim: 
    Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone
   else. 
 
 Muir's Law: 
    When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to
 everything else in the universe. 
 
 Naeser's Law: 
    You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof. 
 
 O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen: 
    Cleanliness is next to impossible. 
 
 Oliver's Law of Location: 
    No matter where you go, there you are. 
 
 Putt's Law: 
    Technology is dominated by two types of people:  Those who understand
 what they do not manage.  Those who manage what they do not understand. 
 
 Ralph's Observation: 
    It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in
    a hurry. 
    Corollary: 
       On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your
       toes. 
 
 Sausage Principle: 
    People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either
    one being made.
 

 
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