Losing weight
Did you hear about the guy who had tried every diet in the
world in an attempt to lose weight? He tries the Scarsdale
diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, etc. and none worked.
He was reading the paper one day when he noticed a small ad
which read: Lose weight $1.00 a pound. And it simply listed
a telephone number.
Having little to lose the man called the number. A voice on
the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?',
to which the man responded, 'Ten pounds.'. The voice
replied, 'Very well, put you check in the mail and we'll
have a representative over to your house in the morning.'.
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the
door. Here stands a beautiful redheaded woman, completely
naked except for a sign around her neck stateing, 'If you
catch me you can screw me'. Well the overweight fellow
chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through the
kitchen, all around the house. Finally he did catch her and
when he was through enjoying himself she said, 'Quick, go
into the bathroom and weigh yourself!'. He did just that and
was amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to the
ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice on the
other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?', to
which the somewhat less overweight man replied, 'Twenty
pounds.'. 'Very well', the voice on the phone told him, 'Put
your check in the mail and we'll have a representative over
to your house in the morning.'
At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock
on the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful
blond dressed only in track shoes and a sign around her neck
stateing 'If you catch me you can screw me'. The chase took
awhile longer this time but the man finally did catch her.
When he was through she told him, 'Quick, run into the
bathroom and weigh yourself!' He ran to the bathroom and
found he had lost another 20 pounds!
'This is fantastic!', he thought to himself. Later that
evening he called the number again and the voice at the
other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?'.
'Fifty pounds!', the man exclaimed. 'Fifty pounds?', the
voice asked. 'That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one
time.'. The overweight man replied, 'My check's already in
the mail. You just have your representative over here in the
morning.', and he hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed and
gets all fancied up, ready for the next representative. At
about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the
door he sees this large gorilla with a sign around his neck
stating, 'If I catch you I'm going to screw you.
|